Marital Deception
by renewedella
Summary: I was hurt, humiliated, destroyed, in agony and confusion. How does the man who has vowed to love you and be faithful to you through sickness and health betray you? How do you get over such a hurt? Follow Bella has she tries to pick up the pieces of her lost life. Can a marriage be renewed after cheating. Not your typical Edward and Bella is has a more realistic edge to it.
1. Broken Vows

**This story originally uploaded under a different username. Unfortunately, I cannot remember my email address that I had used to create my other account, so instead I will be continuing my story on here with a fresh start and extra added ideas. Also with that being said I will be changing the name of the story. If anyone has read it already, then you will find enjoyment in continuing to read it.**

**Disclaimer: Every character thus belongs solely to Stephenie Meyer and are just being used in my fantasy story plot.**

**Story Summary**

**Since college Edward and Bella have been together, they spent all four years of their undergraduate college years being in a relationship. After graduating from college, they got married. Everyone around them admires their marriage and the happiness between them. Everyone thought that they had the perfect marriage, but in every marriage there are always problems. Edward and Bella are aware of that and have fought the odds to make their marriage work throughout the three years that they have been married. Although, Edward and Bella's relationship is about to change when Edward hires a new secretary. Caught into a world of temptation, and lust Edward is unable to resist and starts to cheat on Bella with Tanya (His new secretary). What happens when the truth comes out and Bella finds out? Can they fight the odds and secure their marriage? How will she survive knowing her husband has become a liar, cheater, and untrustworthy? How will he react when she ask him the one question neither of them can answer? "Will I ever be good enough for you?" -Bella**

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First Chapter

I was born Isabella Marie Swan, but I was now Isabella Marie Swan-Cullen. I married Edward Cullen. We met in college when I was pursuing my Bachelors/Master's degree in English. I will never forget the day I met Edward, it was the spring of my freshman year. I was just moving back after my winter break when I ran into Edward. I was caught off guard, considering I am a clumsy mess, I ran into him. After embarrassment and composing myself I took notice of the man before me, he was what I considered to be way out of my league, kind of guy. Edward had a pair of gorgeous emerald eyes, with weird yet interesting head of hair. He has the type of hair that you could just lay in bed and run your fingers through it. It was undeniable I was smitten with Edward Cullen from the very first day that I met him. At that moment, I knew that I wanted to get to know more about him and maybe develop even more than a friendship. And so it happened six years later here I am, now the wife of none other than Edward Cullen. Being with Edward made my life so much better, he brought out the best in me. Sometimes the worse. But I have always been the one to focus on the positives. We had a stable marriage. Of course, we fought from time to time. What normal couple didn't?

When I met Edward he was majoring in Business Management/Accounting and ended earning his MBA in Information Systems. Together we made a great team. Currently, Edward co-runs his father's company with his older brother Emmett. I stay at home working on my new novel. When I first graduated I was working at Cindy's Publishing House, but quit to divide my time to work on my book. It has been my dreams to write my book. I am fascinated by the fantasy world of creating your story and characters that were what had led me to my field of study back in college. Lately, I have felt as though I have made a bad decision deciding to stay at home and work. When I first made that decision Edward was home more often, he had worked throughout the days, but he would make it home early enough for us to have a good evening together. About four months ago all had that has changed. Edward is no longer coming home on time. I am starting to see less and less of my husband. I often wonder at times why he is always so busy and never seems to make time for me anymore….

"Good morning sunshine," Edward greets me, interrupting me from my bothersome thoughts. I turn around and look at him, he's all dressed and ready to go in his black Armani suit with a white shirt underneath with his briefcase in hand. Seeing him ready to be on the go, I don't bother to ask him if he wants any breakfast. Knowing that the answer will be "babe, you know I have to go. Maybe next time." I have gotten so used to his response these days that I don't even bother wasting my time. I have heard enough no's for the month already.

"Good morning," I replied smiling at him weakly. "Will you be home for dinner tonight?" I added, looking at him with a hopeful stare. I was feeling too isolated in my home. I had planned ahead with Edward for a dinner tonight. I have come to realize that to spend time with my husband I need to add myself to his calendar so he can remember that I am a priority. I know, I am pathetic.

"Of course, I will be here! I made a promise to you, and I plan on fulfilling that promise. I know I have not been around much lately, and I am sorry. But its auditing season, it can turn out badly if everything is not in order at work. And if I am not careful I will…"

"Ruin what my father spent years building" blah blah I finished his sentence in my head, it was the same response he had said for the past four months. It was like a new song in my head. It was his response each time I propose or asked him to part take in an activity with me.

"I love you Bella." He said bringing me back out of my thoughts. He gave me a kiss on my forehead and out the door he was.

"I love you too…." My words faded as he hurried out of the house.

After Edward had left, I found myself in what had become a norm, tears. Tears filled my eyes as I considered where my marriage had now reached. Yes, I should be grateful that we weren't fighting or going through anything drastic, but when you're a married couple. You should be spending time together especially when we are so young. When I got married to Edward, I thought that we could settle down, have a family, work, and go on vacations. You know all the fun stuff that couples do. Instead, that's not what's going on now. Edward works six days per week from seven until sometimes ten at nights. While I am at home, either working on my novel or knitting. Knitting is a hobby I learned to keep myself busy while having no husband to share my daily enjoyment with. When Edward gets home, he only have time to sleep and be on his way the next day. Sunday is the only day I have with him. I feel as though when I see my husband, it's a privilege, like I am some fan seeking a day out with my favorite celebrity.

I feel as though if it weren't for my two best friends Rosalie and Alice, I would not be in a stable mind now. They keep my occupied on nights that Edward is unable to. At first they too thought I was crazy for thinking Edward was not giving me enough attention until they realize that he was consistent with hardly being home. Women are often seen as "crazy" and "clingy", but I can assure you I was not either of the two. I knew what my marriage had been like in the beginning and at the stage that it is at now, is not what it's supposed to be like. Something is off with Edward, and I don't think it's just work! That's my biggest fear to think that Edward could have another agenda besides work when he leaves our house.

Edward's POV

As I slammed the door to my house, I could hear Bella's voice saying "I love you too." I knew she did, I mean I loved her too. It was one of the reasons why I married her. Bella changed me and made me see myself in a new light. She had a natural and pure beauty. She never saw herself for how she was. Before Bella I was a lady's man, I was known as "the player" a bit of a jerk if I am honest. I didn't see the value of women. But when I met Bella something changed, I knew I wanted her to see the best in me and in order for that to happen I had to be the best for her. She was innocent, it was so refreshing, and she wasn't clingy or running after me and I appreciated that. Although she did run into me, that's another story. I knew Bella was the one from the very first moment; we spent our college years together. Right after college I knew I wanted to marry her, well at least after being with someone for three and a half years I thought it was the thing to do and, I did love her. That ought to count for something. Our marriage was going perfectly fine. I was the CEO of my dad's company; Bella was working on her first novel. My life was starting to seem like one of those fantasy romance novels. Until, I had asked for a new secretary and Human Resource hired Tanya Denali.

Four months ago is when my life changed. I went from being the perfect husband to being the world most shitty husband. I told myself that when I had gotten married to Bella that I would stop my scumbag ways and be a man and never cheat on my wife. That was until Tanya walked into my office, notifying me that she was my new secretary. There was something about Tanya; she had the sultry way of talking. It wasn't of innocence, but appealing to certain parts of my body. Tanya had the perfect Barbie physique, long legs, strawberry blonde hair, and beautiful blue eyes. She was very seductive and persuasive. I tried time and time again to convince myself that I had a beautiful wife at home and a brilliant one at that too. Until one day, Tanya came to work wearing fish nets with a short black dress with rhinestone on the sleeves and black pumps. One look at her and I knew what she had on was not for work, and I would've sent her home. But she looked too damn sexy. She knew I wanted her, and she was tempting me more and more every day if it wasn't her sucking on her pen or bending over then it was this! I was fed up with her trying to seduce me all the time; I was a man, and I had feelings and needs. So when Tanya Denali walked into my office that morning, I did not resist the temptation and took her right there and then. She did not resist me either, and from that moment until now we have been having an ongoing affair that my sweet innocent wife has no idea about, and I hope to she never finds out.

I have tried time and time again to stop what I have done, but it's so hard. The good news is that Tanya leaves for Italy in about a month and will be living there for some time before she returns, if she returns. When she leaves me, and my Isabella can continue to live our life that was once only made of the two of us again. She will continue to see me as the perfect husband that I am.

If only she knew what you were doing behind her back.

Well! She doesn't, now does she? And who's going to tell her anyway?

I said speaking to my inner conscience, who has tried to convince me that I am wrong.

As I arrived in the parking lot at work, I quickly park my car in the CEO Reserved spot. Grabbing my briefcase out of the car and made my way to the elevator that's stationed in the parking lot. As I entered the elevator and pressed the button for the 27th floor, some screamed out.

"HOLD IT!" I looked to see that it was Emmett, my older brother, and I immediately stopped the elevator doors so he could enter.

"Good morning Em," I said eyeing my brother, who was out of breath.

"What's up bro…?" Emmett was cut off when the elevator stopped and in walked Tanya, fuck my life. I thought

My body stiffened as she walked over to me and said "good morning Edward." With a seductive smile plastered on her face, then turning to Emmett "Hi Emmett." She said and hit the button for the 5th floor. The elevator seemed like it took forever for it to get there. When it got there, Tanya made her way out the elevator doors and waved at me with a smile. After Tanya had left, the elevator was silent, until….

"Edward I know it's none of my business, but why are you doing this to Bella? She is a darn good wife and every opportunity that you get to be under Tanya skirt you jump at it. I doubt you spend any time with your wife since Tanya has been employed here Edward! You're a disappointment to what a husband should be. I just wish you stop doing this Edward, Bella is a wonderful woman, and I bet another man is out there waiting to give her what you are not capable of giving." Emmett said angrily with disappointment in his voice.

, "and what is that Emmett? What can they give her?" I asked back in response being the defensive asshole that I am

"Faithfulness, Edward. But you wouldn't know anything about that? Now would you? Vows don't mean anything to you do they?" Emmett asked bitterly, with disdain clearly in his eyes.

"You are right emm; Bella deserve better, and I am going to stop. I just need time to decide what I want," I said seriously thinking as the elevator door opened, and we both stepped out.

Emmett let out a dark laugh, "Edward here is a pointer while you decide what you "really and truly want" think about this, Tanya can only offer you sex, and she is not and will never be wife material deep down I know you like her, you don't love her. Bella, however, I know you love, even though you have a very odd way of showing it. Remember one thing never leave the one you love for the one you like because the one you like will leave you for the one they love."

"Thanks, Emmett I don't know how I got myself into this mess. I will consider what you've told me. I know I've made some bad decisions lately" I said hoping he would cut me some slacks.

"I know how you did; you want to know why you're in this mess Edward? It's called self-control something you don't have. I have secretaries to Edward, but I know that no matter how hot they come to work looking. My wife can put on that same damn outfit and look ten times better, and that's why I marry her because I knew she was the ONE. I am not trying to lecture you Edward but as the older brother I can only try to put you on the right path. Remember this, you're going to regret this and remember I told you so "He said not trying to sound mad but I can see that he was, who could actually blame him, everyone loved Bella, and I mean who wouldn't. They knew how devoted she was, and I was just the cheating bastard that she had to put up with. After Emmett walk away, I stepped into my office. Before I was even seated, I heard Tanya's heels clicking down the hallway, and I knew she was heading straight to my office.

"Hello Baby" she purred as she walked into my office.

"Hey honey," I said sounding like I didn't have any life in me which she seemed to notice

"Oh baby you seem down, I know how to make you better," she said leaning down exposing her cleavage to me, which made every problem I had disappear…except one that is. "How is that baby?" I said smiling up at her knowing exactly what she was going to say. "How about you come over to my house tonight after work, and I will show you exactly how?" she said it as a question, but it seemed more like a demand. Being the idiot asshole I had now turned out to be, I, of course, accepted "I would love that,", "Ok babes see you later." And with that she was turned on her heels and was out of my office. I was now excited I couldn't wait for the day to be over, so I could fuck the shit out of her. The things I would do to her tonight. After sitting there fantasizing about what I was going to do to Tanya, Emmett Paged me letting me know that we had an urgent meeting and I was needed A.S.A.P. I hurried off to the 10th floor where I spent the rest of my evening in a boring meeting with a new company who wanted to collaborate with ours and work on a new project. After the meeting, I headed straight to my office and got my briefcase then to Tanya house I was headed for.

Bella's Pov

It was now after six, and I was now waiting for Edward to get home. It had been a long day for me, I wrote three new chapters for my book and I cleaned the house spotless. After doing all that needs to be done around the house including the laundry. I started on dinner, at first I was a little puzzled by what I was I going to cook for dinner but then I decided on Edward's favorite meal Parmesan Encrusted Chicken Breasts with Roasted Pepper Sauce and spaghetti. I knew that he was going to love this. I had set the table with candlelight's, the vanilla flavored candle scent roamed throughout the house, giving it a warm and cozy feeling. I had a good thing going; Edward was going to enjoy this. Satisfied with what I did I sat patiently waiting around the table for Edward knowing that he would be home in less than twenty minutes. After dinner, I was planning to have a warm bath together with Edward, and then we would see where things would go from there wink wink. I smiled to myself as I thought about what would happen. It's been a while since we did anything like this. We don't get much time together, and I often feel isolated. I just can't wait until he has enough time to spend it with me. I don't get it, he used to be home early, he never even wanted to go to work but lately he has been so far from this world. I can't even remember the last we had sexual intercourse with each other. I think at times as if my marriage is tearing apart and I don't even know why. It's driving me crazy I just seriously hope its work he is extremely busy with and not something else or someone else. I hated having to think like that but what other solutions did I have. I trusted Edward I told myself, I don't think he would ever cheat on me. Therefore, I pushed that thought out of my head and sat at the dinner table waiting for my husband to come.

Edward's Pov

I was on my way home it was now eleven pm, I had just left Tanya's house just the saying of her name reminded me of the beautiful night we had, and it was rough. Tanya sure knew how to put on a show. When I had arrived at Tanya's house she wasn't wearing much and let's just say after a few minutes neither Tanya nor myself wasn't wearing anything. As I arrived in my driveway, I noticed the light was on in the living room of my house, that was weird I thought to myself Bella would have normal been asleep my now. I parked my car, and walked up to the door and open the lock with my key.

Bella's Pov

I have sat here for over 4 hours now, I was pissed as hell Edward had not yet arrived and I was still sitting here thinking that he would soon arrive, I was making up excuse thinking that he was perhaps stuck in traffic, but every time I tried calling his phone it went straight to voice-mail. Next thing I heard the door knob turn and then in Enter Edward, with a smile on his face that quickly disappeared into shock and disbelief.

"OH, SHIT." He said in a shocked tone, the realization hit him as he suddenly remembered that he had plans tonight.

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**A/N: First chapter was a rush but review and let me know what you think. I just wanted to get it up and IMPORTANT NOTE I NEED A BETA ASAP, THANK YOU. Also, what do you think of the characters? Yes I know it's a bit different, this story has been on fanfic for a while under another account that I lost the login information to. Therefore, here it is being revised and updated as a new story with the same format and storyline.**


	2. The Truth

**Second chapter**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything**

**Please let me know what you think, this story is not edited as yet so there will be errors. **

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**Edward's Pov**

After I opened the door, I was hit by the beautiful scent of vanilla. Then another scent hit me; it was the smell of food surfacing its way around the house; it smelled delicious suddenly my mouth watered longing to find out what this heavenly scent was. Instantly I started to make my way around to the dining area; maybe Bella had bought some new candles. I smiled to myself never in my life had I seen a woman so intrigued by candles and their scent. It was like a hobby for her to shop for candles. She liked the delicate smell that they often give off and how they made the home smell. Bella didn't like air fresheners, to her candle did the job of making the home smell beautiful. I had to agree with her. The house was always smelling wonderful and always in a proper state. I made my way into the dining room I could see lights flickering. Yes, I said to myself, she bought candles, but that idea quickly disappeared out of my mind when I entered to arch doorway, the entrance to the dining room. The sight before my eyes was not what I was expecting; I was surprised and soon everything came back to me. I had promised that I would be home for dinner tonight at 7…that was 4 hours ago.

"OH SHIT" those were the only words that escaped my lips. I suddenly felt guilty, not only am I cheating, but I had forgotten the promise that I had made to my wife that I would have been there tonight, to have dinner with her. The worst part was that she had gone out of her way, to fix my favorite meal. I realized as my eyes were fixated on the items on the table because I was unable to look at the woman in front of me. I couldn't look into her eyes for I knew they only held a look of disappointment. For the first time in my life, I finally felt like that bastard Emmett says that I am. I stood there, I didn't know what to say, how could I possible make up a story saying I forgot, How could I justify not being here? I didn't know where to start because I knew the only solution available was to lie. I was starting to think that, that is what I had become a liar. It seemed to me that's the only thing I can remember, and it's how to lie because it's all I have done since Tanya walked into my life. I was startled by Bella's voice that I jumped. "Edward, you're very silent, what happened cat got your tongue?" She said it with so much intensity and frustration. At that moment, I knew there would be no easy way out of this. What was I going to do?

**Bella's POV**

"OH, SHIT!" He said looking bewilder as if all of a sudden he remembered that he had plans tonight. I watch as he stood at the entrance of the dining room motionless, no words could describe the look on his face it was a scream for help. I watch as his eyes search the room; he stood there tense as if he didn't know the right words to say. He looked as if he was contemplating something in his mind, and now there and then I knew by the look on his face… he was going to lie. Something he has done a lot lately but he thinks I'm foolish to believe every word he says, but I'm certainly not, I just play along with him. I have my suspicions about him. I am not crazy I know something is up with him, but I didn't know what and I am not the type to assume, so I would stop because I knew in due time the truth would come out. My mother always told me "whatever is in the dark must come to light." I always lived by that saying for I knew it was so. I was tired of watching him stand there like he was going to go crazy; it only angered me more, not only did he stood me up, he had nothing to say but stand there motionless. "Edward, you're very silent, what happened cat got your tongue?" when I said this he jumped slightly. Well, at least I know now that he is not motionless and can move.

"Bella I'm so sor..." I stopped him by raising my finger in the air; that was the last thing I wanted to hear now. "Don't even say you're sorry, I don't want to hear it from you. You're so pathetic, I ask you ONE night to come home at seven because I was making you dinner and YOU PROMISED, and then you show up here FOUR hours later, trying to tell me some bullshit that you're sorry. Oh! Please save it for someone who gives a damn." I was now to the point of anger, I need answers I didn't need excuses I wanted answers. If I couldn't get answers, he was going to get a piece of my damn mind and pack his shit and leave my house. I am not a game; I am not someone who he thinks he can just play with. I have been the calm collective wife, doing my rightful duties as a wife, but I am not stupid.

"Why don't you come and join me? We need to talk because I need some answers, I am sick of your lies." I said looking him straight in the eyes; he slowly made his way across the room, where he took a seat across from me. I watch him carefully never letting my gaze off him; I wanted him to feel fear, "how the hell do you forget a promise you made to the woman, you say you to love?" I asked him, "Bella," I immediately stop him, I was not yet ready for his explanation or his lies, a part of me knew I would be upset if I heard the truth, but then another part of me felt hurt not knowing it.

" Edward every morning before you leave I have your coffee ready for you, which doesn't even seem to make any sense for me to make it anymore because lately, you don't even drink it. I'm sitting here in the evenings, sometimes nights waiting for you. You're never home during the day; at night when you come home, you act as if your tired and I don't exist. Sometimes I wonder if its work you go all day and why you come home so late. You refuse to tell me, though, saying it's nothing, and I shouldn't have to worry about it. You make up an excuse saying that work is busy, but I know it's a lie. I have my doubts though. I'm starting to wonder if I should worry, I wonder at times if work is so important and busy all the time that you never find time for me anymore. I'm starting to fear your absences and wonder if one day you just won't come home to me." I was breaking, I was holding it all in for too long, I was tired of it.

"Edward I'm worried about you and I'm worried about us. The days when you're gone seem to grow longer and longer. I find myself missing you more and more. If only there were some way to have you explain, but you refuse. My worries are ever-growing and my fears last even after you come home. My mind is haunting me with questions of your presence. What time will you be home? What's causing you to be so distant? Why am I always alone?" I was on the verge of tears because I genuinely love Edward and I don't want to lose him, but I feel as if that's exactly what was happening and I didn't know why. It confuses the hell out of me, but one thing I knew for sure was that it wasn't only work that was keeping him distracted. I refuse to be a foot stool for any man and Edward was making an ass out of me and I knew it.

"I'm afraid now to be alone because I don't want to face a day when you might not come home. I've tried a hundred times to talk to you but you never give me any answers. I'm afraid that I can't live like this anymore. If I were lacking sleep before then surely I am lacking even more now. My constant worries haunting me when I try to sleep, often keeping me up when I should be resting, it's only when you're there with me, I'm finally able to face myself in my dreams." The tears started to appear I couldn't keep them in any longer I wanted my Edward back.

"Edward I don't even remember what it feels like to have that rush of happiness. That day we stayed in bed all day watching movies and laughing. I miss that day and days like it but we don't have them anymore. I feel so used, itsbreaking me apart. My heart aches with longing to have you hold me in your arms and promise that you'll never leave. Promises like that though are ones that I haven't heard in years. The bad part is that when you make promises you're no good at keeping them, hence today. Edward what's going on please talk to me I want to know, and don't bother lying to me it's not worth it anymore, be honest for once. I can take the truth just not the lie please." I said with tears streaming down my face, I finally allowed myself to breathe; I sat there and watch as he took everything in, his face changing with conflicting emotions. Then he spoke,

"Bella I know that you don't want apologies but I am sorry, Bella I honestly am, I was wrong, Bella I didn't know how to say no, I couldn't stop myself…" I was now confuse, what did he mean? Why was he wrong? I nod my head for him to continue. "Bella I betrayed you, I'm nothing like the man you think I am, Bella I told myself that it was wrong, but then yet it felt so right, it started as first as a onetime thing but then I couldn't get enough I just kept going back." He said, I finally figured it out, I was surprise "Edward, we can get you fix, I don't know why would you even begin to take drugs, but I'm here with you, I'm disappointed bu…." I was cut off by him, "Bella I am not talking about drugs, at least at times I wish it was instead." He said shaking his head. "Then what is it?" I didn't want him to say it, I was dying inside, and the words that came out of his mouth next sent a shock through my entire body. "Bella I'm having an affair with another woman." I couldn't talk I was stunned, I couldn't register his words, no he wouldn't. I couldn't focus. "Bella speak to me, please." Was he actually talking to me, I closed my eyes and I waited and I waited, I was sure I would soon wake up and everything would be back to normal, this wasn't a dream, this had to be a nightmare, but I knew once I opened my eyes it would be gone. Wrong when I open my eyes there Edward sat directly across from me with tears in his eyes. Then it's like everything came back to me. "What did you say?" I said clenching my teeth, "I said… I…was havinganaffair with another woman." He finally done it, he had finally told me the truth and for once I wish it was a lie instead. "How long?" I asked, I couldn't find the right words to put together what I wanted say, I didn't know how Iwas supposed to even react, I was still in shock.

"A few months now." He said, I couldn't believe my ears this man sitting across from me the one I married, had been cheating on me for a few months now, and we've only been married for Three years. My blood was boiling, this lying bastard. "Bella I need to know what you're thinking please, this is hard for me too." that did it "YOU want to know what I AM thinking I am wondering why the hell did I marry a lying, cheating, untrustworthy, idiotic man. Out of all the men on this earth how the FUCK, did I end up with you EDWARD? Then you have the nerve to sit there and say it's hard for you, which part is hard for you Edward? Sleeping with another woman while you have wife at home? Or was it coming home to me at nights after you fucked her?! Explain, you're the worst man a woman can ever get married to." I was angry, I was hysteric with tears, and I mean how could he? I loved him, I gave him my all.

"Bella I am sorry, I really am." He said trying to look all truthful I was done falling for that shit. I jumped up from the table and jabbed my fingers at his chest making him flinch, "Edward are you really sorry you cheated, or are you sorry that you got caught because now you're trying to look all sad and sincere but in reality Edward, you're not? . You would've stopped yourself if you were sorry. You would've broken off you're little affair with whomever the fuck you were cheating on me with. If you were truly SORRY, then you wouldn't have continued to sleep with her anyway. You would've stopped sleeping with her after the first time it happened. But you didn't. You slept with her because you thought, 'Oh its okay. What she doesn't know won't hurt as much.' That's where you went wrong. Edward, the truth hurts, but your lies kill me." I couldn't do it anymore. I just wanted to get out; I couldn't look at him any longer. "GET OUT" I yelled pointing out the dining area towards the door.

"Bella wait let me explain." He said with shock. "I DON'T WANT TO HEAR NO MORE OF YOUR SHITTY EXPLANATION FROM YOUR NOTHING BUT A LIAR, GET THE HELL OUT OF MY HOUSE NOW." He reluctantly got up from around the table, and walked to the door, when he reach it; he turned and looked at me " GET OUT" I yelled, he hurried through the door and at that moment I felt as if my entire world had caved in on me. I didn't understand, where did I go wrong?

After all those times I've trusted him. After all the promises we made. All the things I told him. I just can't seem to understand! No, I wasn't dense, probably just in denial. I don't know where I went wrong, how could he do this to me? After all we've done, he had it in him to cheat on me? He just broke my heart like it wasn't much of a novelty for him. Now, everything just seems so wrong. I couldn't believe this, I refuse to believe that all of this had happened. I mean, we are speaking of Edward here, he wouldn't have done this to me. He can't hurt me like this, he loves me. He told me, he promised! There must have been some sort of mistake, a glitch, anything! This was just impossible.

Somewhere; deep down though, I knew. I figured he would. All that's left to wonder about is how I knew it would end this way. He cheated on me, I should have seen it.

I laughed darkly to myself at the thought, "Love is blind."

In fact, I think I did see it. Maybe, I knew all along, but I just needed the confirmation; Evidence. I needed someone to tell me, I wasn't just being paranoid. Now, after my unconscious state, I was left heartbroken, crushed, betrayed. Nothing is ever going to be okay. I was the stupid little fool, while he wasn't worth it.

I loved him, but I expected it to end badly. From the mighty beginning I knew it would end badly, but I chose to ignore it. I knew that this was all too good to be true. There's no way this man, of all the guys I know, it was too perfect for him to actually love me. He can't love anyone, only himself. He wasn't worth the time I gave him, and he clearly isn't worth this pain I'm feeling.

I'll admit, I wish I had never loved him. I wish I never agreed to go out with him. But through it all, I felt so memorable. Like I was the only one, and always will be the only one. I felt like this love was real. Something, that was going to last. Like I said, love is blind. I knew what he was before our marriage, but I wanted to believe that he could truly love me. That I was the girl who would keep him from playing the game. I wanted to believe that he could have real feelings for me and just me, but I guess that wasn't true and I doubt it will ever be. I couldn't stop crying I don't think I ever will, how do you stop loving the one person, you can't live without?

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**SO... WHAT DID YOU THINK? WAS IT HARSH, GOOD, WOW?**


	3. AUTHOR NOTE- SORT OF IMPORTANT

**Life is bittersweet, although I understand that many of you guys that come on this site to read is to get an escape from reality and enjoy a good story that takes you away from the everyday hassles of life. I totally understand, it is one of the many reasons why I read a lot and also chose to write my own story.**

**One thing I want to make clear about this story is that, it's not your typical Edward and Bella story that you may or may not be used to. I have decided to put a twist on this story and add some real world problems to it. That many individuals have face whether it be through marriage or relationships. Hurt exist and it definitely exist in relationships. Contrary to what many people think, and the opinions that are out there. People cheat and they get back together. Often we have an idea that it is wrong and we would never go back to some who has wronged us. But when you're faced with that situation and you love that person it is often not the case that you walk away and leave. I am not saying Bella will jump and take Edward back for cheating. Just want to justify some things before I go any further. People tend to live in this "perfect bubble" and pretend as though these things can't happen to them or they can just up a leave a marriage once a man or woman cheats. But fail to realize love is a dangerous thing and it can cause you to make dangerous decision.**

**This story is about a woman finding herself after a deception, while a man realize the heartache he has caused her and tries to mend things back. It is up to my characters to make the decision if they ever want to get back together. Read and follow a long it will be journey of extreme I can assure you.**

**Thanks for the support thus far!**

**ALSO THIS STORY HAS NOT BEEN EDITED, IF YOU FIND ERRORS PLEASE DO NOT BE AFRAID TO POINT THEM OUT. JUST DON'T BE RUDE ABOUT IT OR TRY TO BE SARCASTIC. **


	4. Edward POV of The Truth

**OKAY ITS SHORT, BUT ITS HERE.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing except for the plot and I only borrowing these character, just for a long train ride, in which they will return to Stephanie Meyers in one piece, I promise. **

**Edward's POV**

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She was angry; I knew it was only because she needed answers, answers I weren't quite sure if she was ready to hear… I don't even think I was ready or able to give her the explanation she wanted. _How do I confess to the woman I marry that I have been cheating on her?_ I thought to myself. But apparently it seems as if it would be the only way to end her suspicions of what I was doing behind her back. I honestly did not want her to search anymore, I certainly did not want her finding these answers someplace else, and I had owed this much to her. I didn't know how to begin or even where to begin for that matter. The more I consider the situation, the more I saw the asshole I had become and the damage I was about to cause. Scratch that… I think I had already caused the damage. Although she's not aware, yet.

There was no way she was going to take what I was about to say lightly, I know once I confess to Bella what I have been doing, she will never forgive or look at me the same. Just knowing this makes it harder. I had prepared myself for the worse, because prior to now I had already made up my mind on what I needed to do.

Before you think of me as the asshole understand this. I loved my wife, but over the years. I missed being the Edward I used to be. After meeting Bella I felt as though I had to perfect myself. Change my ways and become someone else for the benefit of her. I was tired of lying and pretending to be someone else. I was raise in a family that was filled with morals and values. Before meeting Bella I was sleeping around constantly with a different girl each and every night, sometimes two if I got lucky. When I met Bella all that changed she reminded me of what my parents had envision for me; the perfect girl, the picket white fence, and the beautiful grandkids they so dreamed of me having.

I couldn't continue living a lie anymore and yes I am wrong for leading Bella along and making her believe we had that, but I couldn't do it anymore it was only fair that I told her, I mean the clues has been there all along, I just wasn't expecting her to wait so long to figure out that our marriage has been a disaster for the past few months and I have been nothing but the cheating bastard I have always been. I know who I am and the asshole I am. Everyone knows it, even her friends knows this. But women always thinking they can change a man. Do not get me wrong I swear Bella was _the one_. I still do, just not at this moment. After Tanya walked into my life, I realized that she wasn't and it's not because Tanya has suddenly become _the one_. I realize sadly, that I am just not ready to settle down.

"Bella…" I began, "I know that you do not want my apologies, (sigh)... but... I am sorry, Bella I truly am, I... was wrong, Bella I didn't know how to say no, I couldn't stop myself…" I was now confuse if I wanted her to know, I felt as if I gave her a hint she would probably figure it out.

"Bella, I betrayed you, I'm nothing like the man you think I am, Bella I told myself that it was wrong, but then yet it felt so right, it started as first as a onetime thing but then I couldn't get enough I just kept going back." I said, it was true I didn't know I would become so addicted to the thrill of having an affair behind my wife's back. I felt as if it had become a drug to me and I couldn't stop myself. It was never in my intentions to hurt her, but she wanted to know and she had to. No reason to string her along anymore, knowing she could be happier with someone else. I was a fucked up person and know I would never be looked at the same by family nor friends with this confession that I was about to make. I didn't so much care if she saw me as a cheater, because she had already known what she was getting herself into from the very beginning. But has selfish as I was, I did care about how this would damage her. But lying to her would never do us any justice. It was never like I tried to convince her as if I was another person, she knew about my player ways, but as I recalled when we first met she tried to convince herself that she could have changed me. But she failed to realize that it does not work that way, in order to change a person they have to want that for themselves. Yes, I made a vow but… I clearly never remember making any promise to change my ways. Now… hopefully she can live up to her vows when she said, "for better or for worse." Because what I was about to tell her wasn't for the better but definitely the worse. I was trying to come forth with the best way to tell her that I was having an affair, but…

"Edward, we can get you fix, I don't know why would you even begin to take drugs but, I'm here with you, I'm disappointed bu…." I was shock, she thought I was implying about drugs, a part of me believe that she only said drugs because she hope for it to be so, even though she knew the true. I could have seen it in her eyes she knew what I meant. Instead of making her guess or suppress herself into more denial I told her, "Bella... I am not talking about drugs, at least at times I wish it was instead." I said shaking my head. I might not have loved her anymore like I once did, but at the same time I did not want to see her cry. I have got to be the most fucked up man on the planet. Fuck my life.

"Then what is it?" She asked me, and I knew even though she was asking she did not really want to know. But I said it anyway.

"Bella I'm having an affair with another woman." Her facial expression changed from anger, to betrayal, disgust, and the worse hate. She was speechless.

I didn't know what to say or how to approach her, "Bella speak to me, please." She closed her eyes as if she was waiting for someone to wake her up out of a dream or what I would call it for her precisely a... Nightmare. I guess reality finally found its way back into her head (_asshole)_, because she finally spoke.

"What did you say?" She asked through clenched teeth. At that very moment I realize two things. One I was about to awake the sleeping monster within my wife and I had made a BIG mistake.

"I said… (Sigh) I washavingan affair with another woman." I guess it finally clicked "How long?" She asked, I didn't quite believe that was the question or the phrase she was looking for, but... Viewing from her expression she was still in shock.

"Merely over a few months." I told her, she looked up at me with anger, yet speechless. She fumbled with her fingers. I have never seen Bella like this, I was a bit afraid and starting to really rethink my decisions. "Bella I need to know what you're thinking please, this is hard for me." I don't know what made me say that, I guess I finally push the explode button. "YOU want to know what I AM thinking I am wondering why the hell I married a lying, cheating, and untrustworthy, idiotic man. Out of all the men on this earth how the FUCK, did I end up with you EDWARD? Then you have the nerve to sit there and say it's hard for you, which part is hard for you Edward? Sleeping with another woman while you have wife at home? Or was it coming home to me at nights after you fucked her?! Explain, you're the worst man a woman can ever get married to." She was angry, furious and yet hysteric with tears. Way to make a man feel bad about himself. See this is what I don't get with women, they always want to know the truth, but yet again they can't handle it. Why the hell do you ask in the first place? Before you judge and call me an asshole, seriously. Why ask if you can't take the truth.

"Bella I am sorry, I really am." I said, honestly yes... I am sorry I betrayed her, but... I this was for the best I tried to convince myself. I was flinched as I watch Bella jumped up from the table and jabbed her fingers at my chest, "Edward are you really sorry you cheated, or; are you sorry that you got caught because right now you're trying to look all sad and sincere but in reality Edward, you're not? . You could've stopped yourself if you were sorry. You could've broken off you're little affair with whomever the fuck you were cheating on me with. If you were truly SORRY, then you wouldn't have continued to sleep with her anyway. You would've stopped sleeping with her after the first time it happened. But you didn't. You slept with her because you thought, 'Oh its okay. What she doesn't know won't hurt as much.' That's where you went wrong. Edward, the truth hurts, but your lies kill me." She was right everything she was saying. I didn't have time to process anything when she screamed "GET OUT" she yelled pointing out the dining area towards the door. Hell, I would lie if I say I wasn't stunned by her tone of voice, she does not often yell. Bella wasn't the type to make a fuss out of anything and seeing her like this, I knew there was no way in hell I was going to get a forgiveness from her.

"Bella? Wait… let me explain." I said.

"I DON'T WANT TO HEAR NO MORE OF YOUR SHITTY EXPLANATION FROM YOU, YOUR NOTHING BUT A LIAR, GET THE HELL OUT OF MY HOUSE NOW." I reluctantly got up from around the table, and walked to the door, when I got to the door. I turned and looked back at her, hoping she would see some kind of remorse in me. "GET OUT" she yelled, I hurried through the door and at that moment I knew she was more than angry with me. Could I blame her? Nope I was an asshole and the kind that didn't deserve a woman like her.

I stood with my back against the door, a part of me felt relief that she knew, and it was no longer a secret. I walked away from the door to my car; I got in the driver's seat and hit my head against the steering wheel and breathe. I started the ignition to the car about to reverse out of the drive way, but I couldn't move. I turned off the engine and let the tears fall. I had fucked up greatly and lost probably the only woman who ever gave a shit about me. I was always tempted by the flesh and seeing Tanya and having that affair with her just brought back memories to all the fun I used to have. It was never my intentions to hurt Bella and seeing her tonight, made it clear to how much I had hurt her. I had broken her heart and I know nothing I said or do could ever repair that. I don't know what it is that I want.

"FUCK" I screamed, realizing that I might have just made one of the dumbest decision of my life. How the hell did I let my life come to this? Bella was truly perfection, _now you realize this. "_Shut the fuck up" I mumbled realizing I was talking to myself. I guess it's true what they say, you realize things when it's too late.

I wanted to march right back into the house and hold her and beg for forgiveness, but the look in her eyes told me it was not going to happen. I did not blame her. Honestly, if the shoes were reversed I would not have forgiven her. My family would never even forgive me. For Christ sake Emm… is already pissed at me. I reclined the driver's seat in my car and decided that, this is where I would spend my night. I couldn't go running to anyone playing the victim, because I was the asshole and Bella was the victim.

I was brought out of my thoughts when I heard things smashing inside the house and at that moment I knew this was not going to end good… I was about to face the wrath of Bella. Something I was not prepared for.

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**Well, damn that was tough. Hopefully things can workout for the good. I am sorry for twisting these two this way, maybe I am not lol. Hope you got to enjoy things from Edward POV. I will not always include is point of view. Just wanted to give you a heads up. Also comment, let me know what you think. I have already written the next two chapters, but toying with them to see when I want to upload them. **


	5. Pain

**Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters, I am only borrowing them for my own selfish reason, but I do promise to give them back.**

**I recommend you listening _Have you ever _by Brandy to set the mood for this chapter. It helped me to really write this chapter. **

**Bella's POV**

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I couldn't believe that bastard, I had spent three years of my life married to this man only to find out that; that fucking scum bag has spent an almost an entire year out of our marriage cheating on me.

I mean seriously was I boring? To say I'm OK is an understatement; I can't believe Edward did this to me. I had loved him with everything I had; I gave him all, body, mine, heart, and soul. In return, he betrayed me and pushes me aside. I was angry, I mean come on, who wouldn't be? I grabbed the plates on the table and started to throw them. This was never how I planned my life. I plopped myself down into the nearest chair I could find.

The pain I was feeling, was like nothing I had ever felt before. I can't even begin to explain it. My mother always warned me that it wasn't a good feeling, I used to laugh. Now I knew what it felt like. It was nothing like what I read in those romance novels, reading it and feeling it was totally different. My life felt as if it was coming to an end. How could he hurt me like this?

Where did I go wrong? I wasn't perfect, but... Who is? I did my best, I made sure he was comfortable. (_No he wasn't or, else he wouldn't have betrayed you_). The voice inside my head was right. I knew I said I wanted answers from him but...

He told me that we would be together forever, what happened to forever? "NO!" I screamed this can't be, Edward couldn't do this to me. I started shaking my head trying to convince myself. "WHY!" I scream, I was no longer crying I was now bawling my eyes out my body began growing weaker. I tried to help myself out of the chair and my body fell to the floor. My body ache, my heart felt as if someone kept taking a knife and stabbing me in the same cut. How did I let him do this to me?

I was young; his words were like a drug to me everything he told me I believed. I was naïve. When he told me I was the one, and no one else had ever made him feel the way I did. I believed him.

The tears couldn't end no matter how much I wanted them to. They just kept flowing, how did he do it? How could he tell me that he love me when he knew it was a lie? All a long he loved another. Did he even love her? (_You mean did he love you?) _"Get out of my head!" I screamed.

Was I some kind of a joke to him? I rose from the floor making my way to the stairs, my legs were tired, my body felt drained. I slowly made my way up to the guestroom, there was no way in hell I could sleep in the bedroom we shared. Too much memories of him would be there, his scent, clothes, and pictures of us. I cried even more just thinking about the word "_us"._ I stumble onto the bed and wrapped myself into the blanket, I was numb I couldn't begin to understand why this was happening to me. I did everything for him, I cooked, cleaned, and I even stayed home because he asked me to. What did I do wrong? That's what I can't seem to understand, I've done everything a woman is supposed to do and more, and he then turns around and betrays me. The tears couldn't stop flowing, and I don't even think they would stop if I wanted them to.

The man I thought I would be with all my life has told me, he is seeing another. The fucked up part about it is that he didn't even looked like he cared. How do I tell our friends and family that we're no longer together?

What was I supposed to do from here on out? So many questions; and no one to answer them. My Edward had betrayed me. "NO... NO no no no!" I screamed and yelled. He didn't; not my Edward. (_You sound pathetic, WAKE UP! Because he did)_ my heart aches even more. My head was spinning, heart pounding I couldn't handle it, I was becoming weaker and weaker I cried, cried, and cried my eyes. I was begging sleep to come and take over. I didn't want to have to face this right now.

Love is a dangerous thing they say. Oftentimes when people try to warn you. You don't take heed to what they have to say, because you feel as though you know it all. Or you're invincible and it will never be you. I hated the idea of having to start my life all over, but how could I possible stay with Edward after this? He clearly didn't give a shit about me or my feelings. There is nothing in the world I wouldn't have done for Edward. I gave my all to Edward only to find out he wasn't giving me shit in return. How would you feel? My heart was literally aching. This was so consuming, pain was not supposed to consume you. Love is supposed to. I tried and tried to be the woman Edward so desire? Where the fuck did I go wrong. _Why are you blaming yourself…? _"I don't fucking know!" I screamed to an empty room taking the pillow and covering my head to muffle my screams. There was no easy way out of this.

I was woken by the beaming sunlight forcing its way through the curtains at the window, and my phone ringing. Even though I didn't have the energy I reached over on the night stand and grab the phone. Looking at the caller ID I realize it was Rosalie, I wasn't willing to talk, but I knew it had to happen sometime but I didn't want it to be right now. I answered it anyway "hello?" I said with my voice raspy, I knew being who she was, she was going to figure out that something was wrong. That was just Rosalie, you could not hide anything from her. "Hey Bella, is everything okay?" She asked fearfully concerned. I wondered to myself if Edward had called her already, "Rose... Edward is…" she quickly cut me off. "What's wrong with Edward? Bella is he okay?" She asked concern even more now; I laugh darkly "oh Edward is just fine." I said, I was the one who wasn't. "What's wrong Bella?" she asked confused. "Rose…." I said taking a deep breath "Edward is hardly home anymore, and now he is telling me has to go away for a while." I blurted out, with tear streaming down my face, I know I lied but I couldn't tell her, at least not yet. I needed more answers. I cried silently trying to catch my breath. "Oh; well when he gets back, you guys can take a vacation together" She stated sounding relieved. "Ha-ha! Oh… Rose I guess so, but maybe when he gets back I won't need a vacation." I sigh, it didn't pay to be sarcastic right now.

"Someone's cranky?" She asked and I could hear the amusement in her voice. I would normally reply to that, but there was no time for fun or games. "Rose?... I got to go. "I clicked the line before she could reply. I did not have time to relax on the phone. I had bigger problems. Rose did not have anything to worry about. I am sure Emmett was not disrespecting her.

After hanging up the phone, I saw on my call log that I had 20 missed calls from Edward. I slammed down the phone. The nerve of him. I tried getting up off the bed, but my body fell back to bed, I didn't have the energy to get up, but I knew I had to because I had plans for today. After I spoke to Rose I realize that it was only time before everyone found out.

I couldn't sit here and blame myself for Edward's selfish act. I am not going to be the kind of woman, who acts like a fool and take him back or wallow in self-pity. As much as it hurts, I was not going to let him feel as if he had got the better of me. I need to clean up myself, I needed more answers and this son of a bitch was going to give them to me. It has been awhile since I made an appearance to Edwards's job, I think its due time I remind him that I'm no fucking mute.

I got out of the bed and I made my way to the bathroom, as soon as I caught myself in the mirror, I had to look deeply, my face was drained, my eyes puffy and my lips were dry with cracks forming on them. I licked them and I could feel the cracks. I removed myself from in front of the mirror and jumped into the shower. I did not want to see any more of the mess I had turned into overnight. The water felt relaxing as it hit my bare skin, my body relaxed, as the water ran down my body, a stifled sob escape my lips, I quickly resist it, I didn't have time to cry right now, I hurried with the shower. When I stepped out I could feel the mist from the shower wrapped around my body and the cool air making me shiver. I was happy for the steam because it fogged up the mirrors and I wasn't able to look at myself, and at this time I didn't want to. I made my way to my bedroom; I decided that I was going to have a little fun with this, since I was so deadly to Edward, I was going to clean up and show him what he has been missing, not that it mattered anyway.

I wanted to show him that, I wasn't going to sit home and sob because he has decided I wasn't good enough for him anymore. I was hurt and I knew it would definitely take me some time to get over it, if I ever did. I just could not let Edward feel as though he had got the better of me, no matter how hard it was for me. I had to show him he did not win. Clearly this was all a game to him, our marriage was nothing but a fucking game. I walked over to my closet where I retrieved a Strapless lace dress with gold lining and shirred sides with a sweetheart neck. I had bought this dress to wear on our anniversary in three months, but since I will no longer have one, why not wear it to pay him a visit.

When I was done putting on the dress, I was happy with the way it hugged by every curves. This is what I don't understand. How could Edward possibly cheat on me? MEN they are fucking imbeciles. Fuck that, just Edward, he's take the cake. I completed my dress by putting on my black and gold heels which increase my height, perfect I thought. All was left was my hair, I decided that I was going to leave it in its natural curly state; I would just add some foam to it, to give it a shining glow. I didn't put too much make-up on just a little to hide the puffiness around my eyes, and some eyeliner to bring out my eyes, and light pink lip stick, with a dab of clear lip gloss. When I turned and looked in the full length mirror, I was glowing, I was happy with myself. I felt a new form of confidence. I was ready to see the devil, who had made me into the monster I was about to become.

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**Let me know what you think, will be uploading another chapter tonight as well. Hence this being so short. I feel it for Bella, my heart aches for her. **


	6. Confrontation & Realization

**I don't own anything except the plot of this story.**

**I have a life outside of fan-fiction. Which is hectic. Thanks to my fabulous readers and to the bad and good critics your opinion matters! *smiles***

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Bella's POV

I slowly made my way down the stairs, where I gathered my purse off the coffee table, and out the door I headed. I ignored the mess that I had made from the night before. I personally didn't give a shit about it. I don't even think I would be coming back here.

When I stepped outside the chilly morning breeze hit me, it felt so satisfying, something I haven't felt in a while. Sadly, I was too busy being a housewife to fucking dick, I hardly made time for myself to go out and enjoy life. I shake my head as my emotion took over, "I am a dumb ass" I declared as I made my way over to my car, which was a Mercedes Benz, something that Edward had gotten me when we first got married, I had a car, but he said it was too old, so he had gotten me a new one. I reminded myself that after today I would go and trade it in because I was not about to drive around into something he had bought me. I wanted nothing from this man in my life. I love Edward and that will never stop, but I had to learn to love me. I started up the car and reverse out of the driveway onto the streets, I made a U-turn and down the road I was headed, I was usually a slow driver but I was anxious, I wanted so badly to get this over with. My mind was filled with so many different thoughts I didn't know how I was going to handle it, but I knew I had to find a way somehow. In twenty-five minutes I was pulled into the parking lot at Edwards's job, I was searching for a parking spot when I realize that Emmett spot was empty. I wasn't in the mood to keep looking and I knew Emmett wouldn't mind.

I turned my car right around and parked. I wouldn't like any stranger stealing his spot, might as well keep it safe for him. I laugh aloud to myself. I turned off the engine and exited the car, then made my way to the employee elevator, I was still his wife, I was still entitled to certain privileges and until we got a divorce, I would use every bit of it, because if nothing Edward ever did, one thing for I sure I knew and it was that he was going to suffer and pay. Where did that come from? Was I really going to divorce Edward? What else would you do? Unless you're okay with him constantly cheating. "Shut up" I said to myself. I was not about to have this debate.

I tapped my heels as I waited for the elevator to stop, when it came to a sudden stop I realize I had arrived on the 25th floor I straightened my dress and breathe. This was new for me. I was never in such urge to give someone a piece of my mind. I made my way out of the elevator and straight down the hall I was headed. I remember this place so much; this was where I used to come when Edward and I used to have lunch every day, until a few months ago that is, until he decided to fuck some other woman. I could feel my anger coming back; I was now angry and pissed. I was becoming immensely impatient; to see him, it felt as if his office was too far away. The clicking of my heels alerts many people in their cubicles, they started looking out, looking me up and down, I kept my head high and walk my way towards his office, I was on a mission and I was going to get it accomplished. I smiled to myself at the thought. When I finally reached Edward's door, I pushed the door opened.

"Who the…" Edward started to say until he looked at me. He was shocked his face drop, his eyes raked up and down my body, he looked in disbelief as if he had seen a ghost. "Bella" he choked out. "Good morning Edward, I can see you weren't expecting me, I know, I am sorry I didn't call to tell you I was coming." I said with a sarcastic tone.

He had no words he just stared; I could feel the eyes on my back of people watching. "Bella…what are you doing here?" he asksed, his eyes pleading with me. "excuse me babe, but…?" I whipped my head to see where the voice was coming from. I regretted it instantly, there stood in front of me a strawberry blonde woman, wearing a highly revealing dress with papers in her hand. I did not need no one to tell me that this is who I was losing my husband too. Edward was fucking sleeping with HIS assistant, he brought her to our house! I was more furious than ever now. I turned my head back to Edward, who was looking everywhere else but at me. He must have known I knew.

I no longer gave a damn, he had me cook for this woman. Had her in my house for game night! "EDWARD ANTHONY FUCKING CULLEN, please tell me you're not serious?" I yelled at him. His eyes bulged out of his head and he flinched. "Bella, please…"

" Are you fucking serious, not just twenty-four hours ago I found out, your fucking someone else and then you ask what I am doing here?. Okay, since you don't know why I am here, let me tell you, why I am here because I want answers, you son of a bitch, I gave you my all and then you ripped my heart into pieces as if I wasn't anything to you, you're a selfish bastard. Everything you put me through, Hurts me so bad now, And the pain won't fade away so now I have to live with it every day. I can't believe you would do this, after you told me you loved me, And I thought it was true, But I guess you lied. Edward did you really love me?" I was so angry, I couldn't explain it. I did not give him any time to respond. I was on a roll. Plus I did not want to hear his sorry ass excuse. "you brought this bitch into my home, had me cook for her, she was there on game nights EDWARD! You are disgusting." I was humiliated, Edward could not be serious. Just kill me already.

"who are you referring to as a bitch." An annoying screech came from behind me. I was stunted, she was still standing there? And had the nerve to address me? Oh no this shit was about to get real. Apparently Edward realized, he jumped up from his seat.. "Tanya, please can you leave. This is not the right time." Did he just say that? "No no , Edward is it the perfect time. And you!" I said, pointing at Tanya, "open your fucking mouth again, please I beg you." I said daring her to respond. She glared at me not once uttering a word. That's what I thought. Edward really didn't know who he was dealing with.

"Bella… I loved you, please don't make a scene. Can we talk about this somewhere else? I know this is a lot for you, but this is my job" He said so straightforwardly. I wanted to cry so badly, but I held back the tears, I couldn't let him see me cry, I wasn't going to allow it. This man didn't give a shit about me "Oh! Edward… I hate you, but I hate myself more for loving you the way I did. You don't love me! Do you even love yourself? I fooled myself into thinking that you were mine and mines only, you played me Edward, and have the nerve to ask me to let "us" talk somewhere else? I fell for your lies and games, Ha-ha you got me, you sure as hell did. I was such a fool. BUT! I have been that fool, I am no longer your puppet, you won't have to lie to me anymore, I would tell you that you're free to go, but I realize you have already moved on, it's time for me to do the same. And remember this. You're a woman's scorn, I pray for the next woman who ends up with, gives you a dose of your own medicine and might be too late when you realize, and the cure will be long gone." I cursed at him.

"Bella please… I am sorry… aren't I allow to make mistakes?" Edward said while trying to hold onto my arm. "If you don't let me go, I am going turn this office upside down and then press charges against you for abuse. I don't think you will want that added with divorce and the amount of assets you're about to lose." I said, glaring at him, he let me go so fast and in shock.

"A… ...ce?" he choked out. "yes Edward A D-I-V-O-R-C-E" I spelled out for him.

I was so angry and furious I could not take any more of this. If I stayed any longer I was going to have a mental breakdown. As I turned to walk out...

"I guess this means that I've won." Tanya said, I turned around, to see a smile on her I face. It took everything in me not to slap the smile off her face. Contemplating that I had too much shit going on already to begin with and jail just did not seem like a good place to be tonight. So instead I smiled back at her "It depends on what you've won. You are no different from me Tanya remember that and he will do the same to you. It's all a game to him, but I won't be the one to tell you, I rather let him show you. And Edward my lawyers will call you. "

I said as I laugh aloud and headed my way, I felt relieved, but hurt, but I knew I had let go a part of me and, I didn't know how I was going to go on. As I made my way into the elevator, the tears started to come, and this time I didn't keep them back I allowed them to.

As I step out of the elevator, I saw Emmett inspecting my car. He was probably wondering who took his spot. I quickly wipe away my tears and walk towards him.

"Hey Emmett," I said.

"Hey there Bella, Can you believe someone took my spot?" he said, looking in disbelief. Only Emmett

"Sorry Emmett, that someone would have to be me," I chuckle slightly.

"Oh! I didn't even recognize this was yours, it has been a while since I saw you here at Edwards's job." He said studying my face.

"Yes I Know, I had some business to take care of." I said not sure if I should tell him.

"Here? In This Building?" he ask while pointing at our surroundings.

"Yes, apparently Edward, your brother Edward has been having an affair with his assistant Tanya." I said in disbelief, but as soon as the words left my mouth a questioned appeared in my mind. And the look on Emmett face wasn't an expression of shock and that's when I knew something wasn't right.

"Emmett, you work here, right?" I asked

"Yes Bella, that's a stupid question to ask, you know I do." He said while rubbing his hands together.

"Your right Emmett, I have another question and after I ask it; do tell if it's a stupid question, Ok!" I said studying him more than before.

"s-ure" he said looking around everywhere else but at me.

"Did You Know That Edward Was Fucking His Assistant Tanya?" I asked, adding an emphasis to every word.

"Um-um…. Bella… He…. I… Um…" he couldn't get his word out, he didn't know how to explain and I knew he knew, because they both worked in the same building and he had to have seen something between them, because apparently they weren't discreet.

"I guess that wasn't a stupid question, after all," I laugh darkly. I push past him and walked to my car, I got into the driver's seat and reverse, I watch him as I pulled out of the parking lot looking lost and sorry, and at least someone looked sincere and apologetic.

I drove as fast as I could, I wanted to get away from here, away from my friends and family. I didn't know where I was going, but I knew it wasn't the place I once called home.

As I drove questioned flowed through my mind. How many people around me knew that this was going on? Did Alice and Rosalie know? Why wasn't I good enough for him? What was wrong with me? (Nothing is wrong with you, and you need to be a woman and stand strong, because if you keep whining and crying like a baby. You're only going to prove him right." Your right, I couldn't let Edward feel as if he controlled me, just because he left me didn't mean I had to stop living. I am a woman and I will not let any unworthy good for nothing bring me down. (Saying it and doing it, that's two different things.) Shut the fuck up, I am going to be my own boss from now on, it's time to love me. (Now that's more like it).


	7. Reality & Void

**disclaimer****: own nothing, characters belong to Stephenie Meyer. Although I think the hotel is of my own creation... I hope**

**This chapter was very hard to write, Bella is strong, but she is human. Pain is natural and I want her to understand she has to go through it before it gets better. **

**this chapter is not yet edited, so there will be mistakes. Still seeking a beta. Let me know if your interested. **

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**Bella's POV**

I pulled into the parking lot of the **La Mystique Brescia Hotel**, after hours of driving around in what essentially seemed to be a circle. I realize that I was not going to get anywhere, if I continued. My body is tried and I am feeling weary. It has been over a day since I last had a meal or even food for that matter. I was weak and tired in one. This was precisely what I needed after what I have been through today. I thought sarcastically.

I entered the lobby of the hotel, it was a beautiful sight before my eyes, and I would say the highlight of my day. There were a waterfall in the middle of the lobby with a fountain rising from the middle. The colors were very eccentric and the lighting was beautiful. I knew by the looks of the chandeliers it cost millions, because they were glowing and well detailed. It was hard to take my eyes off the beautiful decorations around me. Memories began to consume me as I remember when Edward and I took a trip to Hawaii and we stayed at a hotel similar to the decor of this hotel. Tears began to well up in my eyes.

I can now see and understand what my mother meant about having your heart broken. It is the saddest and most painful thing I have ever endure in my existence thus far. All my energy has left me and everything around me has been losing its meaning. Imagine giving your life, soul, and heart to someone who love and only to have them abuse it. You suddenly realize that all you had with this person is no more and there is nothing you can do about it, but try to get your life back together. Do you know how much that hurts? How can you ever love or make yourself whole again? Was that even possible? Who do you turn to for comfort? Heck who do I or would I turn to?

Happily the concierge interrupted my thoughts bringing me back to the much hated reality of life, "Hello, Good

Evening, how can I help you today?" He asked, I was so caught up in my head I that I did not pay him any attention.

"Good afternoon Miss?" he stated again a bit louder, seeming a bit annoyed by my silence.

"Oh, I am sorry," I said giving him an apologetic smile.

"That's okay, how can I help you today?" He asked politely with a small smile

"I would like a one bedroom suite, with a great view of the city." I told him

"How long are you planning on staying?" He asked.

I wasn't exactly sure, but I knew a day was not going to be enough. I needed a lot of time to figure some things out.

"Um... A week." I said that trying to contemplate if that would give me enough time to sort things out. I highly doubt it, but I could always extend if needed.

"Ok, let me see what I can do for you..." he said, while him staring at the screen before him. "A... I found something that might be to your liking. Would you like to add breakfast to your package? We also have a great dinner package also." He said with an even wider smile than before.

"Yes and Yes" I said in a hurry, I didn't care a room with a view was all I needed.

"Okay great! Let me add those for you." He stated, "your total is ... 1,360.95. How will you be paying for this?"

"A visa credit card." I said looking straight at him. I handed him my card and told him all the necessary information he needed to know

"Ok Mrs. Cullen, (I cringed at the sounding of the name) you will be on 11th floor room 1119, while you enjoy your stay here with us, I would like to fill you in on the specials we are having for this week." I just stood there nodding away waiting for this man to finish off; I tried very hard being as polite as I could.

"Would you like someone to take your luggage up to your room Mrs. Cullen?" he asked

"What luggage?" I smirk and sauntered away.

I step into the elevator and press the eleventh floor, what seem like forever it finally stopped. I was on

My floor. As I step off the elevator I look towards my right checking the numbers to see which way to go, realizing the numbers were going down I knew I was headed in the right direction, it didn't take too long for me to find room 1119. I quickly slide the key into the door that I was given and opened the door.

My eyes wandered over to the bedroom window as I walked into the room. I slammed the door behind me, though it wasn't on purpose. I walked over and fell upon my bed, tears streaming down my rosy red cheeks. When did my life get so screwed up?

I'm not sure where it started really or why. Everything just seemed to be slowly falling apart and finally, more recently, everything just collapsed leaving nothing left. Now I'm not sure what to do to go about rebuilding, or even cleaning up the mess. The disaster just seems to have gotten bigger and bigger and it's getting so hard to control.

They say nothing lasts forever, well I guess now I can see. Nothing in this world is strong enough to hold on through everything and anything that comes its way. So eventually it will have to break apart and crumble until it is nothing but a pile of shattered pieces along the ground. If only I had understood this sooner, maybe I could have done something to stop it, to fix it. If I really think about it though, I wonder if I really could have done anything. Would it really have been so easy, even if I had known before now? Would it have even made a difference?

Somewhere inside I know that there was little to nothing that I could have done to stop or to change this. I had to try to remember that it wasn't my fault. None of this was my fault, even if it felt like it was sometimes. I knew it wasn't, though sometimes it was hard to say that and believe it. It's the truth though and inside I know that sometimes it's just a little hard to believe.

As I looked up from my pillow, the evening sky was approaching. I began to wonder how long I had lain here crying. It felt like time wasn't passing fast enough so I couldn't bring myself to look at the clock. The nagging of the time remained in my mind like an alarm and eventually I gave in to look at the bedside clock. It had been almost half an hour, I was actually surprised. It hadn't felt like time had gone anywhere. I guess it had moved forward. Maybe I was just lost in my thoughts again.

I sat up slowly with a small sigh. I wiped away my tears before looking back to the window. My eyes closed and I prayed to god for help. I needed help; I couldn't do this all alone anymore. I wasn't sure if I believed in God or not, but if he was there I really could use his help. So I prayed, with all my heart and soul I prayed for help, for knowledge to know what to do. I just didn't know what to do.

My eyes slowly opened and I ended the prayer with, Amen. I wasn't sure what kind of answer I would get, or if I even would get an answer at all but I still had to try. At this point, God was my last hope. Who else could I turn too? My family was of no help, mother and I were always fighting, my friends just wouldn't understand and of course they would be on his side, they would more look to comfort him and seeing that Emmett knew about this I wouldn't be surprise if they all knew, they are probably laughing at me now. And even if they didn't, I did not want to be, I did not wish to be bombarded with questions and tiny details from my friends which is what I knew was going to happened if I spoke to them. I didn't want to deal with that. I guess I would just have to wait for it to blow over, and father was just as helpful as a blade of dead glass. He wouldn't know what to do if I asked him for help. Yes, I am being serious.

So I had nowhere, no one else to turn too. I didn't think that I would get a very direct answer from God, but maybe something, anything would help. That's what I wanted to believe. I wanted to believe in him and that he would help me. I just hoped that's all I needed.

My entire relationship with Edward was just based on promising lies. I remember when he gave me twelve red roses, eleven real and one fake. With them he said, "_I will love you until the last one dies_". Of course, since one is fake, the last one can never die. So being the naïve girl I was, I believed and hoped for it to be true, at least until now I know the truth.

His feelings for me had faded and he found he wanted someone new. He promised to love me until the last rose died, but it never did. Only his love went away. Maybe he still love me, just his feelings changed I thought.

I tried to hold back the tears that desperately tried to break free of my hold. I wanted to be strong; I wanted to pretend that I wasn't hurting inside. I had been a fool to fall for such a boy. They say love is blind though and yes, I had been very, very blind to everything. Looking back everything was so obvious. His true feelings for her were clear as day. I had just been too in love to see it. I didn't want to see it.

Even now, I am still in denial I don't know if I can move on from this. After all the pain he put me through I was still in love with him. My feelings were still strong without any sign of hesitation or fading. I wanted to forget him though. I wanted my memories of him, or them together, to simply fade away. I wasn't so lucky though I feared. The memories were clear and still just as painful.

He had used me but I didn't understand why. He had been so good to me. His act was perfect. Why did he throw it all away? I didn't understand what I had done wrong. I wanted to know, I wanted to change what I did but I knew deep in my heart that this was not my fault. Or at least that is what I want to believe. It had been his choice. He chose to hurt me without a care towards my feelings. I had nothing to do with it. What he did to me was his choice, not anyone else's. No one could make him do anything he didn't want too and I knew that no one had tried.

A few tears ran down my cheeks smearing the little make up I wore. I couldn't be strong when I was alone. The silence made it so hard not to think about all the hurt. The silence is what brought on the tears and the pain, and the hurt, and the suffering. I couldn't make the pain fade, I didn't know how.

Moving closer to the pillow I buried my head in my knees crying. I could no longer stop the uncontrollable tears from falling anymore. I wanted to, but I couldn't bring myself to. This time I wasn't strong enough, the feelings were just too overwhelming for me. I wasn't strong or perfect enough to stop the tears.

This time was different. This time the breakup made me feel like I was dying inside. It felt like my heart has been ripped to pieces into some sort of physical emotional pain that I couldn't quite yet control or even begin to understand.

The level of the pain drove my inside but when I was alone I let all the pain out. A sort of healing for me, the tears I tried to hold back was the medication and the time was the effect. With each new tear a little more pain fade away and when I could not cry anymore I would calm down slowly only to notice the effect. The pain for now was dim and now able to be ignored.

The pain came back though every time just has horribly painful as before. The pain never went away completely though I begged the lord that it would soon. I couldn't take this anymore, of that I was definitely sure. I needed something to fill this void, I was too open and vulnerable at this moment. I had to stay away for a while or else everything from here on out will end badly. I had to figure things out.

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**THANKS A LOT TO ALL THE WONDERFUL FANS OF THE STORY AND THE FAITHFUL REVIEWERS. IT MEANS A LOT TO ME. HOPE YOU ENJOY AND DID NOT CRY, I WAS TEARY EYE WRITING IT. POOR BELLA. EDWARD'S AN ASS ! ANYONE ELSE AGREE? SHARE YOUR THOUGHTS !**


	8. Otherside, Heal, Leaving

**Disclaimer: Nothing here, all goes to the wonder S.M.**

**Thanks for the wonderful favorites, follows, and reviews. I truly appreciate it. **

**two chapters in one day, might be three if I keep adding.**

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**Edward's POV**

I had not been able to sleep. Ever since Bella walked out of my office that day; I had not been able to function. I had no one to blame but myself. I had wreck what I had. Fucked up part of it all was that Bella was not sleeping in our home anymore. I have tried calling and texting her and nothing. She had been ignoring me. Did I blame her? Of course not! I had destroyed what we had. "FUCK" I screamed shoving everything off my desk that was before me. How the fuck did I get here? I had everything, now I had nothing.

"What the heck Edward?!" Emmett barged into my office, eyeing the mess that I had made. "You look like shit" he said stating the obvious. He walked into my office and closed the door behind. "You cannot be making such a scene while at work, we do not need any more attention. Even though I was not here when Bella made her appearance it's still the talk of the office." Emmett stated. He was right ever since Bella had stop by, people have been eyeing me viciously and are actually rude to me. They have been equally rude to Tanya. As much as I want to fire her, I can't. Or else I will have to endure way more than just a divorce. Which I will be fighting. No way possible was I giving up on Bella that easily.

"Emmett what the fuck am I supposed to do? I don't give a shit what they think, they work for me. In case you have not notice, my life has gone from GREAT to fucking DESTROYED" I yelled I was upset.

"And whose fault is that exactly? wait let me take a seat, this seems like it's going to be an interesting story." Emmett stated wryly. I couldn't stand him at the moment, but he was right.

"You are right," I said running my fingers through my hair.

"Emmett what can I do? What should I do?" I asked him hoping he could help me

"I mean Edward…umm I don't know, I never did anything like what you did. I am kind of lacking experience in the infidelity category. I can give you a how to guide" in the faithful department though." He said in a sarcastic tone.

"Emmett now is not the time for your shit." I snapped at him

"Right! Because I am the one responsible for you being in "your shit"," he stated letting out a cold laugh. I was frustrated, I fucked up, yes, but hell he knew about it. _He tried to warm you, but you were too selfish to listen._ Here we go!

"Emmett seriously, I do not need an education or counseling session on how bad I fucked up! I already know! But I do need your help. I miss Isabella, for Christ sake I miss my wife." I said throwing my head back, while running my hands over my face. "Emmett she does not even sleep in our home anymore. I found out from the credit card statements that she's staying at a hotel two hours outside of town. I have constantly called and text her and no answer. I am tempted to show up to hotel and beg her to come home, but then I'd be even more selfish. If I am hurting like this losing her Emmett. I can only imagine her pain. I fucked up big time. I did not listen to you, I ignored every warning you gave to me. I regret it, but now I have to live a life without Bella, I don't think I can do that. Matter-a-fact I am not going to do that." It was the truth, how do I move on without Bella. I did not know the consequences of my actions before when I was doing the act.

"Why can't I just forget about her? Why am I unable to put her in the back of my mind as I have so many times before? What makes her so different?" I stated, before Bella this was the norm for me, it should not hurt me this much to let go. But I could not do it.

"Edward, I am sorry that you're hurting this much. But as much as you refuse to hear it. YOU caused this. You destroyed the great life you had. You can't want happiness and then chasing after every skirt you see passing you by. Your infidelity is what destroyed what you had. Edward I am more upset with you. And in case you did not notice, Bella is different from the sleaze you tend to pick up. You are hurting, but I don't feel for you like I feel for Bella. Bella fucking knew I knew. Do you know what that means? She looks at me with disgust Edward! Sweet Bella that I love and care about does not even want to talk to me! Because of your fucked up behavior. Because I was protecting you, she thinks I was condoning what you were doing. I don't give shit that you're hurting, I am hurt too. Fuck Edward I am sure when everyone else knows about this they will be too. We all will be aching for Bella, she's the victim her. I am to be blamed too for keeping this from her." Emmett stated with tears clear in his eyes. I am an asshole was the only thought I had. I knew how much he love Bella and I had gotten him into this mess. He warned me endlessly and I ignored every warning, because Edward wanted what Edward wants. I am a selfish prick and needed no one to tell me that.

"Edward she won't even answer my calls. I cannot tell Rosalie this or else, I will probably be sleeping on the couch. Edward did you think about how this might affect everyone around you? For fuck sake Edward we are all close!" Emmett screamed, he was pissed and I had to agree with him I hadn't given much thought to any of this.

"I know, I know. Fuck Emmett believe me I do. That's why I need your help. I need Bella back, she said she wanted a divorce. I can't give her that. I don't want her to go. Am I being selfish for that?" I asked knowing damn well I was, but how was I supposed to let her go. I was not ready for this.

"YES, and you know it. You can't demand her to stay with you. If the roles were reverse would you stay?" he asked me and I could not answer that question. I knew from the depths of my heart and soul I would not be able to look at Bella the same if she had cheated on me.

"FUCK!" I yelled. I had to find a way to make this right. I had to. I could not lose my marriage. I was wrong, but I was going to find a way to fix this. I don't even know where to begin. I had not receive any divorce paper as yet. That had to be a good sign right?

**Bella's POV**

I knew that I needed to move on; I could not possibly sit around and think about what ifs. I can't deny the pain I am feeling, it is difficult to bounce back into my daily routine of life and be normal again. How the hell can I just pretend everything is okay when in fact my life is disappearing before my eyes? I knew I needed time to heal but there was no way in hell I was going to get any source of closure in this town, seeing the same people who have betrayed me. _"Bella you don't know that for sure." _That was true but there is only one way to find out. I stretch across the side table and reached for my phone. My phone had been constantly on the buzz, calls from Emmett and Edward were the most recent ones. Edward never stop texting or calling. I had ignored all of them. I was not going to waste my time listening to anymore sorry ass excuse. He did not have anything new to tell me. I did not need to feel any more pain and clearly that was all Edward was worth giving.

I composed myself and pushed away the thoughts that were beginning to consume me and return to what I had planned on doing the moment I picked up my phone. I mean honestly Rosalie could have not possibly known about this, could she? I am sure she would've told me. As I dialed her number I put the phone to my ears and listen as it rang, after three rings she picked up. "Hey Bella." she said in her usual calm voice. I sigh and began

"Hi Rose, how are you today?" I asked as eager as I was to find out what I was up against I knew I had to stay calm.

"I'm good just finishing up some work. I have been filled with a lot to do for work this week. I have called up a few times. But forget about that how are you?" she questioned

"I'm not very well, and that is why I called you, I need your honesty Rosalie, I desperately need to hear the truth for once." I said, trying to make sense of my own words. "Of course, Bella, what are you talking about? You're scaring me here." She said confused and frightened. At that point I knew she didn't have any idea or if she did she was a pretty good actor like Edward is. "Rosalie, I have been betrayed in the most humiliating way I could ever imagine. The man I called my husband has slept with another woman for the past year…" she cut me off "Bella, fuck no! Are you serious…?" I cut her off before she could continue

"Rose, let me finish, Edward has been sleeping with is secretary, he is very well proud of himself for it too. He has no remorse whatsoever. Rose I am hurt, the man I love has not only betrayed me but he has left me feeling void and broken while degrading me and my intelligence." I said tears falling, how one could recover from something like this. "Bella, I am lost for words." she said sounding upset with sympathy clear in her voice

"Rose, so you're telling me you did not know?" I asked

"Bella, are you fucking kidding? I would never know such a thing and keep that away from you no matter how much I love Edward, you're like a sister to me." She said sounding hurt "I am sorry Rose I just thought since Emmett knew…" I was cut off yet again

"WHAT! Bella do not tell me Emmett knew about this, that son of a bitch and he even kept it from me?" she screamed into the phone.

"Rosalie I am not calling you to cause a problem in your relationship, I just wanted to know how truthful of a friend you were to me because it's hardly likeable for me to trust anyone anymore." I said truthfully "Bella, I can see that Edward has hurt you, but Bella I would never ever do anything that would hurt you, I knew you way before I even met Edward and Emmett. How could I possibly keep something like that from you? Bella I am a woman too and I would never feel good knowing my man was cheating and my best friend has kept it from me. Therefore I would never stoop that low to hurt you." she said and I could hear nothing but sincerity in her voice. She was even hurt "I know that now Rose and I am sorry." I said, how could I think Rose would have kept something like this from me, is beyond me.

"I know Bella and as for Emmett he will be fucking sorry he ever kept this a secret, there is no proper excuse to keep something like this away from me, and I don't give shit about brotherly bond." She stated with hatred in her voice "Rose, it's okay, this is between Edward and me." I said not wanting to create a problem in their marriage

"Bella, I agree but this is now between Emmett and I also, you sound hurt and I know you are, shit you sound stronger than I would if I found something like this out. Bella where are you? How can you be by yourself at this time? "She asked "Rose I have to try my best to be strong because now my mind is not in the right place, I am hurt and Rose I hate him, Rose I did not know the man I love could be such a monster, we slept in the same bed while he was fucking another woman, he disrespected me in front of her Rose. I am an emotional wreck; I guess I was too caught up in fairytale fantasies." I said as the tears streamed down my face, I keep telling myself I needed to be strong. "Oh Bella, I wish I could do something, anything. I have never heard you like this, its breaking my heart." She cried out

"It's fine, I will call you later." I said and hanged up before she could react the last think I needed was anyone's sympathy. Edward had hardened me in a way that only constant disappointment could achieve. And now I was left cold and barren, distrusting and miserable. He had ruined me. He had taken everything from me that had mattered. He had destroyed my ability to love.

**Rose Pov**

The Bella I just spoke with was not the Bella I met in college, Strong. That was the million dollar word that summed her up entirely. she was strong, she was courageous; she was someone who looked like she could handle anything thrown her way with nothing but a few well-chosen words and that unnerving steely glare she had perfected. I'm not talking about physical strength either (though she had plenty of that too); I'm talking about emotional strength. The kind of strength you feel, not see. The kind of strength you learn. I was in disbelief, and utterly surprise how could Edward do this to Bella, and worse how could Emmett betray me like this? I was his wife; I don't give shit if Edward is his brother. I abruptly stop what it was that I was doing, I cannot really blame Bella for hanging up on me but I needed to see Edward this instant that son of a bitch had some explaining to do and Emmett would not even know what hit him.

**Bella POV**

I looked at myself in the mirror, the tears that had trickled down my cheeks, partially engraved on my pale skin. I didn't wipe them away; it would only waste my time. I knew that in a matter of seconds, tears would continue to flow from my dark brown eyes down my face continuously until I sucked up the courage to stop. I would try to convince myself that his words weren't damaging, that the insults he threw my way; like a thousand jagged knives didn't slightly penetrate the surface. In reality, his words left more than just a scratch or a bruise; they left a lasting pain in my heart that ached every time I remember when he had expressed what he had done. I didn't know why I was still affected. I knew what to expect yet the pain never subsided. Instead, it remained fresh and permanent as if an old wound was being opened and closed repetitively never given proper time to heal. I knew I had to move on, I couldn't no longer sit down and cry; crying was not going to make my situation any better than it has been. I knew what I had to do. I had to leave this place and walk away and that is what I was going to do, I was going to get the healing that I needed but not in this town. I just needed to gear up the courage to walk away.

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**Thank you guys ! hoping you enjoyed a little POV from everyone. Let me know what you thing.**


	9. ConfessionsPieces of You

**Disclaimer: Nothing, also had help from a friend for this chapter.**

**A/N: Please read after all it's the third chapter in ONE day !**

**Okay... so before go off on Edward, I want you guys to understand that, Edward is an asshole, but also an inscure one. As you will see in this chapter. He has also been in denial.**

**Bella POV is not within this chapter, which you come to understand why, at the end. **

**Don't kill me because of how I ended this chapter or what I have caused. It was not me, I promise. The characters have their ways.**

**btw check out my other stories.**

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**Edward's POV**

It's been three freaking weeks and I have not heard, or seen Bella. Lately I have been thinking that I have made the worst decision in my entire life. My life is no longer the same. Emmett stay trying to convince me not to go and seek Bella out. I understood what he meant but at the same time a part of me wanted to see her. I wanted to explain, I wanted to beg her, and yes you heard correctly I wanted to beg her to come back to me. How could I have been so stupid? My parents had invited me to dinner and I had declined the invitations. Coming up with stupid excuses. I knew that there were no way possible I could tell them what was going on. Isabella was too concern about tearing people apart that I knew she would never call them herself.

I had consumed myself with work, hardly ever leaving the office. Sometimes stalking out the hotel she stayed at, just to see if I could get a glimpse at her to plea my case. But shockingly I never saw her, never even seen her car. Which is very weird.

"There you are, you son of a bitch." Damn, what did I do now I thought as I turned around to face a very pissed off Rosalie.

"What is it Rosalie?" I asked very pissed off I knew what I did and I did not want everyone coming at for me for it.

"How dear you ask me what it is. You hurt Bella and humiliate her and have the nerve to ask me what is it? Have you lost your fucking mind?" she asked with a murderous expression on her face.

"Rosalie, I think you have this all wrong and you need to calm down." I stated

"The fuck you mean I have this all wrong and need to calm down, Edward I always knew you for being an ass but I believed for once that you could change, Bella was nothing but innocent, she loved and cared for you like no other woman and you betrayed her like THAT." She screamed

"Rosalie, you don't think I got this speech already from your husband. By the way he should not be sleeping on the couch. This was my fault Emmett should not have to pay for it. I have had enough of the counseling" I stated, apparently Bella had told Rosalie and now Emmett was sleeping on the couch in the BASEMENT, Rosalie wanted him nowhere around her. So I was nobody's favorite person at the moment, not only had I destroy my marriage, but others in the process. Fuck me!

"Edward you have not had enough! Did you think of enough when you fucking that slut of yours. Edward you fucking pathetic." She said laughing

"Edward can you sign these…" Tanya asked while walking into my office stopping dead in her tracks when she saw Rosalie. It all happened so fast.

Rosalie had Tanya by her hair, then Tanya landed on my desk crying out in pain. I jumped up stepping in between them putting up my hand. "Rosalie, please stop. She's not worth. Don't get yourself in any trouble because of me. I have already cause too much problem as it is in your life." I stated to Rosalie. In all honesty I could not have this going down, or Rose for that matter getting in trouble.

"Edward, I don't give fuck, I going to kill this little bitch…" she pushed me out-of-the-way making me tumble over the coffee table. I watch as she grabbed Tanya and starts slapping her in her face then in a flash she banged Tanya head on the desk. "ROSALIE!" I grabbed her, she had to stop! "Please stop, look this is my fault, please don't do this. This is your father in-law company, think about how it will work out if this gets any worse." I stated hoping she would calm down. Reality seemed to set in she composed herself.

"Get the fuck out! You're not worth it, you little bitch." Said screamed at Tanya pointing at the door. Tanya hurried out of the door so fast. It was a sight to see. She was scared, I mean who wouldn't have you met Rosalie?

"Edward, I should beat the shit out of you too, you're as much to beaten as she is." She stated giving me her deadly glare. Wanting to change the topic, "Where is Bella by the way?" I asked, nothing really sure if I wanted to know the answer

"Well lucky for you, Bella has moved out-of-state….." I cut her off

"What the fuck did you just say?" I asked I was in disbelief, no fucking way! Bella could not have left so fast.

"Wait a minute Edward did you expect her to sit around and watch you betray her any more than you already have? "She asked in disbelief

"She didn't even say goodbye." I said feeling hurt

"You are fucking pathetic did you know that? You hurt Bella, disrespect her, took whatever dignity she had left and now you want to play the victim card, you are woman's scorn. You're fucking sick. You need help." She said fuming.

I sighed, I knew I was wrong, and every night has been sleepless for me. Maybe I could talk to Rosalie

"I did not expect it to turn out like this, everything about her still rests within my mind. She seems to haunt me; her words still clear in my mind, the memory, like a constant nagging in the back of my mind. Her words and her face, I can't seem to forget. All the words she said to me that day, the hurt look across her face." I stated and then sigh

"Edward, you should be haunted, she has been nothing but well to you and you didn't have the decency to let her go before you cheat, you humiliated her. _"And as for the constant nagging in the back of your mind" _that's your conscience telling you how much off an asshole you were to her." She yelled, each word ripping its way into my flesh.

"Rosalie, I'm not sure what I was thinking of why I did it. Honestly I wanted something more, I was tempted and I fell for it. I never thought about the consequences. I guess I never really cared to understand either for I never tried to make sense of it."

"For Christ sake, Edward you were cheating and you did not give much thought that there may be consequences." she said shaking her head. I could feel my pride slipping away with each word she spoke, and the pain taking over.

"Instead of staying I just left her there in that house Rose without a care to her at all. I thought it would be okay if I told her quickly but I guess her feelings were even more affected deeply that way. Does the first cut really hurt the worst as they say or did she really feel something more than I had believed?"

"Edward please, stop talking because this is not making any sense. You're not making any sense." She said matter-of-factly

Maybe if I explain myself to her she will understand,

"Right now I'm not sure what to think or what to do. You're standing here telling me the woman I love has moved out-of-state. Where? You won't tell me. Yes maybe I deserve that. I know that she'll get over me eventually right and I don't think I'll ever be able to get over her. But that will be my cross to carry, that's how it works isn't it? I feel so confused, more than I ever have before. Is this normal? I can't be sure. I try to play out life normally, but I've found it keeps getting harder. I keep remembering her words and the face she game that day. It's like a haunting I can't escape, like an alarm I can't turn off, like a movie that keeps on playing. I just wish it would stop. Like driving me mad, I can't take it anymore. At this rate it's going to drive me insane."

I ran my fingers through my hair and looked to the side as I did. I was thinking of her too much again. Her memory was like a ghost haunting me and my every move, watching me and reminding me of how much I hurt her.

"Rosalie I can't forget about her. I miss her so much, my heart aches. Rose what did I do?" I stated as tears welled in my eyes. "I never thought that she would have such an effect on me. I thought that I could have forgotten about her and move on. I should be over her by now. Rosalie when I met Bella I did not know I would fall so deeply for her and I did not want to, I was afraid of loving always had been. She knew that! now I realize how deep I had fallen. She's still all I think about, all I dream about. I can't move on and find someone else this way. For as long as I think and dream about her I can't find someone else, someone who will give me what I want. I can't move past her though. I stalk her hotel at nights hoping I'd see so I can apologize and beg for her to come back to me. I make attempts to walk in there and demand to see, but I stop in hesitation, almost in fear of what may happen. What if this only gets worse? It's not that easy anymore and I don't understand why. When did everything change so much and become so horribly confusing? So difficult,"

**Rose POV**

I looked at the man standing before me in disbelief; Edward was just a baby he had not grown up yet. I couldn't believe him. He left Bella because he is afraid of loving? I didn't understand this. I wanted to hate him but he needed help. Some serious help at that.

"Edward, you need help. You're telling me you cheated on your wife because you loved her too much. Edward you are really mental. And as for Bella getting back together with you that's a lost cause. You hurt Edward and I don't think you understand the extent of how much you have hurt her. Edward the pain you have put that woman through is none that I can relate or even come to understand. So as for forgiveness, you better off planning your funeral, because I am sure that is the only time Bella would want to see and that is dead. Edward she hates you, she despise you. You have turned sweet Bella into a viper; she speaks of you with nothing but venom in her voice. Edward you fucked up big time, I really hope Tanya was worth it." I said shaking my head.

**Edward POV**

Her words cut through me like a sword; I wonder if that's how Bella felt. I was hurt and didn't know how to speak or comprehend what just happened.

"Edward Bella sent me something and told me to give it to you. She needs peace that's all I can say." She said as she pulled an envelope out of her bag and handed to me. She walked out of my office disappearing through the doorway.

I held the envelope in my hand scared of what might be in there; I had yet to receive the divorce papers, in fear of them being in there I slowly tear the envelope open. But what I saw was far worse than divorce papers.

_Dear Edward,_

_It doesn't matter what I do or whatever I saw. All I can think about is you. I'm not sure if what I feel are regrets or something else. I'm not sure what to do or how to _

_feel. I wish I could forget about you and all the pain you put me through. Our time together was like nothing I had ever been through before. I loved you, but now I _

_just want to move on. Your memory keeps me held down though. I can't move forward nor can I move on. I can't do anything because all I still think and dream about _

_is you. I lay here in the night and wonder if I ruined us. I post regrets of how I said okay. I hold so many regrets. I gave you everything and you took it all away and _

_left. You left me with nothing in the end. You promised me that you wouldn't hurt me, that we would be together forever. I thought you meant forever, not just a short _

_while until you decided you wanted to move on. I believed that you were serious. How could you betray me? I trusted you with everything. Now I learn that I was just _

_a fool who should have never agreed. You were nothing more than a liar. You did this all on purpose. You used me and I let you. If you had stayed what more pain _

_would you have caused me? Would I even still be living or would my heart have died? Would I be broken and shattered by now because of you? It doesn't matter, you _

_still hold me within your grasp and I don't know how to escape. I'm not sure what to do to get away from you and your hold. I just want to move on, without you but _

_your presence still lingers here around me, haunting me like a ghost of my past. Is that what you are now? A ghost that feels it must haunt me, taunt me. This _

_shouldn't hurt this much. I should be glad that you're gone, not be wondering when you'll come and take me back. I want to move on and I've tried to but you haunt _

_every corner of my mind every day. No matter who I see or whatever I try you're always there watching me. What do I have to do in order to move on? Answer me _

_that if nothing else. Give me an answer so I can move on forward without you by my side. I want to find someone else, someone who cares and won't hurt me like you _

_did. I just want to find my freedom, the freedom I used to have and hold, the freedom to do what I want without having to worry about someone else floating around _

_in the forefront of my mind, watching me, stalking me. Just leave me be, let me go, I beg of you. Just set me free so that I may move on without you. I want to find _

_happiness. I want real happiness with someone I won't be hurt by. I want to be with someone who isn't anything like you. So you have to let me go otherwise I'll _

_never be able to move on, continue on. Why didn't you take this presence of you with you when you left? Why did you leave this piece of yourself with me, within my _

_heart and my mind? Why didn't you take it with you? Did you want me to suffer with your memory? Why couldn't you have just taken it all back when you left? Why _

_would you have wanted me to suffer like this? I don't understand your reasoning behind it all. Did I do something to you that made you hate? If I did I'm sorry, but _

_please just come and take your memories back from me. Leave me, my heart, mind, and spirit in peace. I beg of you to come and take back what you left so that I may _

_move on, for real this time. Just set me free from this hold, from this cage you put me within. That's all I'm asking of you. Then we both can move on. We can forget _

_each other and never see one another again. We won't have to remember each other. Everything will change and we'll be just fine. We can both find happiness, but _

_you have to let me go! That's all I ask._

_Sincerely, Isabella_

I was lost for words; behind the letters were divorce papers. I was furious and hurt, how did I let this happen. Crumbling up the envelope to throw it away I felt something sharp and hard inside. When I pulled it out I had to lean against the door frame to hold me up.

A pregnancy test, it was positive

"NO! No No…." I screamed slamming the office door shut, there was no way in hell Bella could leave me and with my baby at that…

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***peeks from behind the door* is it safe? Okay great! so that was intense! My goodness, Edward confessions...deep, but still an asshole with a whole lot of insecurities. **

**Hello ! Bella is pregnant? OMG I so did not see that one coming, what will happen? OH and don't forget the divorce papers. Comment, Let me know what you think. This is interesting. Anyway the marathon ends here. I will be consumed with work... So I don't know when the next chapter will be up.**


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